How do I feel? What do I need?

Updated: Aug 26, 2020

A lot of my coaching clients share with me that self-regulation (both physical and emotional) wasn't something that they were really taught growing up. It wasn't always modeled or encouraged for them to check-in with themselves and ask "How do I feel? What do I need?". I hosted a 5-day "Stress Less Reset" and many of the participants shared that it felt like they were re-getting to know themselves all over again. I held space for them to practice listening to their bodies and their emotions, feeling for what they needed, and taking Inspired Actions to get themselves rebalanced. Little by little. Moment by moment.

One simple tool that they used was simply checking in with themselves a few times a day and asking themselves- "How do I feel? What do I need?". It sounds so simple, but the truth is this basic technique can serve as a building block on a path to more self-awareness, more self-acceptance and compassion, and better self-regulation (i.e., giving ourselves what we need to get back to balance-ish:).

Luckily this day and age, this is something that is now weaved into most public schools in their Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) curriculum (yay!). It's also something that a lot of parents practicing Positive, Mindful, Respectful, Collaborative (etc.) Parenting try to actively foster in their kiddos. So that from a young age kiddos can hold onto their innate ability to acknowledge what they are feeling, accept it, and find ways to get or give themselves what they need to be in equilibrium.

I wanted to share with you one tool that is helpful to teach and practice this with our kids, and one opportunity to help you learn and practice this for your self (as well as let go of a ton of stress).

So for the kiddos: One of my favorite tools for teaching kids to identify their emotions, checking in with themselves, as well as giving themselves what they need to be/stay regulated is Generation Mindful's Calming Corner or Time-in Toolkit (you can find it